My Own Private IF Game

Me: I am ze ubermensch.
relia : Oh ja?
Me: I broke into our house! Thus averting $80 of locksmith fees.
relia : Just don't put that as your google status.
Me: Nein, if other people want to break into our house they will have to do the legwork like I did, I am not divulging my new trade secrets.
relia : I'm locking all the windows when I get home XD
Me: If it's any reassurance, the window was a REAL bitch to get into. I definitely had to risk some stepladder-related injury to accomplish it, and basically climbed and dove right in through the guest bedroom. Not an optimal robbery method. Also, it was broad daylight and everyone could see me.
They could also see me going around with the ladder to all the other windows trying each one to see if it was locked, which I'm fairly sure prompted some speculation. But the point is, all's well!
I've never been so annoyed that our house is not at ground level. But on the bright side, it is quite a burglary deterrent.
You know how there's a weird neighbor on every block?
I am pretty sure it's me. I am the weird neighbor.